choosing.

September 2014.  After finally making it through the home study process {a rather long ordeal!} and finding out we then needed to finish a chunk of online trainings and a home study review {see $$$} we made it to the next big milestone in this process:  choosing our donor.

We received via email a LOT of profiles to go through.  It really was overwhelming at first, and I felt a huge rush of emotions the day they landed in my inbox.  It was all I could think about and it seemed as though the work day would never end so we could start!

So many of the profiles we passed by simply because they only had a single embryo to adopt.  We really wanted ones that had at least 5 or 6 as we would prefer not to have to mix them.  I remember feeling as though we were peering into people's personal lives somehow...spying on them, knowing their physical characteristics, even their weight.  But, as the weekend wore on and we read more, and narrowed down our choices...I found myself staring at our future child.  

Yes, a child.  A baby.  That is what this is about, I realized as I scanned these forms with a sharp eye.  Our future...our baby.  All the months {seven to be exact} of paperwork, time, and money spent were all leading up to this.  This awesome and amazing responsibility to choose this baby in all these profiles.  These are the genetic parents that make up these precious embies frozen in time.  Souls On Ice as one author calls them.  

Another week went by and we finally made the big decision. #2336.  Please God, I prayed...let us meet our baby here.   I sent the email back to the NEDC and went back to the waiting game.  Next step...medication protocol and transfer date!