This baby is a mover. He seems to kick and squirm and wiggle and dance almost constantly, yet every single movement is telling me "God's gift...God's love for you is here."
When I hear news of another loss of a friend's precious baby or embryo I am brought back. Brought back to the memory and pain that once consumed me in it's stark reality. We've felt this loss, and it will always hurt as we feel it through others time and time again.
Yet...in the dark days of grief there is a promise of hope if you are a daughter of the one true KING. He will NOT leave you or forsake you, He is STILL there, still loving you with an all-encompassing love. The tears may be replaced with shock, and the hurting soul with fiery anger, but don't let go of this truth, at the end of the day...don't let go.
I've told others again and again...we truly didn't know and couldn't even imagine a baby in my womb growing, or in our arms. We felt defeated and worn, and though we were so ready to welcome a snowflake baby into our hearts and home it was hard to envision it working out for us in the end.
Plans for a different journey in our lives were in our thoughts and words as we feebly pressed forward and went through the motions. It's okay to dream of a life different than where you are, and we knew that God would lead us through. He would be the same God He had always been to us, calling us to love Him, KNOW Him and serve Him more.
Baby boy kicks again, and though I jump from discomfort, I smile and my heart is so full. When you've known the deep valleys you can know the joy of the summit so much more. Thanks be to God for this gift that will teach us more patience then we will know we needed, and bring us to our knees again and again. For my friends reading this and hurting today...God will bring you through your valleys, and you will have joy again.