I want to go back to a time when I wasn't afraid. I want to go back to a time where I felt peace. I want to go back to a time where I felt joy.
Despite the dark nature of my last post, I trust those of you who truly know me will understand that I am not going off the deep end here.
All these emotions and feelings are a normal part of grieving and while they may seem overwhelming at the time they do eventually subside.
They are dark and ugly and sometimes I say things I don't mean, but I am so thankful for the steadfastness of God's grace over my life despite my struggle to submit and rest in His plan.
So in the meantime....I will be here, struggling to see God's face in all this suffering, fighting to stay in His word, to seek peace and pursue it. To spend my thoughts and time on what really matters.
I want to say thank you to those of you who have sent me your love, prayers and verses. I may not have been able to respond at the time, honestly I just had NO words to even say, and my heart felt blank. I've been able to read all you have sent and am truly touched and grateful.