A long and cold winter had already hit us, but continued to feel relentless after the tough ending to our 2nd embryo transfer.
After abruptly stopping meds I was plagued with terrible headaches that even drove me to urgent care one night for a lovely shot of imitrex. I fell into a deep despair for a time and along with it had to make it through the stresses involved with my daily work. Feeling alone and overwhelmed at times I tried to cling to the hope that God was still working and would have to show us the next steps, whatever they might be.
Several frustrating and annoying doctor visits between February and March led me to schedule a laperoscopic surgery to see how bad my endometriosis could be. We also decided to plan on a July transfer at the NEDC...our third and final.
I wish I could say I had a surge of hope after deciding on these things, but I didn't. I just felt like they really may not work. That it was time to really think about the future differently and we had done basically all we could do for a time. Infertility and the journey it takes you on is riddled with obstacles and loss, frustrations as well as bursts of hope. You also have to come to a place where you decided it's time to also make different plans, and maybe consider other ways God could be working.
Right about when I had reached a breaking point with everything I decided to plan a quick getaway with R. I finally had a day off (Good Friday) and was so ready to just relax for a short while and leave cares behind.
The trip took an amazing and unexpected turn because while away I took a test that I rarely have had the ability to take....and it was a very clear and dark POSITIVE.
God has given us a baby....a tiny miracle and complete shock to our systems! What a blessing and gift. I don't have any other way to explain this other than GOD CREATED THIS LIFE. We couldn't do it, the best Doctors couldn't do it...but at the end of the day HE chooses how life begins and also how it ends. So humbled by His grace to us.