The end of July and beginning of August I was feeling very down and discouraged. Nothing, it seemed could pull me up out of the dark waters I felt I was sinking into. I know part of the reason was because I had learned at my mock transfer and initial appointment with Dr. K that we were not going to be doing a transfer until late November. I had my heart set on going earlier than that so it was hard to get my thoughts back on track.
Eventually I realized I was feeling lost because of the time of year. A time where we experienced a great loss in our lives. Our baby "B" only 6.5 weeks old in the womb went to be held by his maker in Heaven. Time does help one to move on and heal, but it also gives you time to reflect and remember. I wonder if I will always feel this sadness so strongly at each anniversary of our child's short time with us.
Many women have experienced this kind of loss more than once, and my heart aches for them. I know there are many questions for God being sent in tear-filled prayers, and there are rarely answers that bring comfort. All I know is that God has changed my life, and He is working on bringing me closer to Him as well as bring glory to Himself through it all.
Jeremiah 31:13 "I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance..."