The day is here. I felt like we blinked and it was time again for our next big day. The transfer, our second chance to see if one or more embryos would make us parents again. The last 6 lives in total from our previous transfer have joined our baby "B" in heaven. We have prayed hard that this time will be it. That the embies from a loving family we only know as donor #2336 will grow from just a few cells into a baby in our arms someday.
We go through the motions, shots twice a day, oral medications and vitamins. We eat, and talk about the weather and deep down inside try to hang on to hope. This time around I am the last transfer of the day instead of one of the first. It's quiet in the building and we have a different assistant nurse.
We try not to listen in on the conversation of the couple next to us, but with just a thin curtain separating us we feel connected nonetheless. They are here for the same reason we are. They are going through the same rush of excitement, nerves and fear.
Then, it's our turn. Carol comes out and shows us the embies. Out of 4 thawed, 3 have survived! Again I am wheeled back, feeling a little loopy from the valium and wishing R could be in the transfer room with me. I find out my bladder isn't full enough and get to experience the joy of being "cathed" I cry, pumped up from the hormones and feel like I let the whole world down.
At the end of the time however, the three beautiful blasts are in and all of a sudden I am there again, carrying these microscopic lives. Praise God for another day, another chance and peace that He will be with us...always, and no matter what happens.